Welcome to 2022 everyone! A new year brings opportunities to set our intentions for
growth and change in our lives.
We all deserve more than just being “Survivors” through this pandemic. However, living in the pandemic has exposed lots of interpersonal relationship challenges on a personal and professional level with poor communication being one of them. What if we could all communicate more effectively?
Imagine how our lives would be
transformed because of healthy communication practices that promote empathy. People would feel seen, heard, and understood when they communicate with each other! These are things worth striving for in any relationship!
In 2020, when we were deep in the COVID-19 twilight zone, my clinical therapy practice was inundated with client request for help with communication challenges in both their personal and professional lives.
Furthermore, navigating the human interactions that were primarily face to face for many organizations to now virtual / telework environments came with its own set of communication challenges.
I will admit that even in my own household, navigating communication challenges with my family members representing four generations was a daily struggle. Each of us spoke different communication languages with conflicting values on how we communicated with each other.
Sadly, communication challenges with my then pregnant daughter took me to a place in our relationship that I called dark and unchartered waters. I was confused on what to do and how to make things better between us.
Although I considered myself to be an effective communicator, living through the
experience of the pandemic tested my communication abilities. How could the helper
(me), help my clients when I was struggling with similar communication challenges
within my own household?
What Did I Do to Navigate the Communication Challenges?
First, I prayed for strength, courage, guidance, and grace. I re-engaged with my own
therapist.
Then, I leveraged my skills as a researcher, therapist, coach, and business
owner to seek out communication resources that would be beneficial for my clients (and me). I identified common communication themes that my clients reported.
What I recognized was many people (to include me) were living in a state of collective grief and trauma, hence, communicating through the lens of anxiety and trauma. We mourned the loss of those things that provided a sense of control, comfort, convenience, safety, and security (CCCSS).
In my quest to find communication resources that would best serve my clients, the word “Communication IQ (CQ)” came up in my search. CQ theorist posit that communication is a behavior-based skill that can be measured and trained. Therefore, CQ measures the ability of people to communicate effectively with each other.
I wanted to find a communication tool that would help my clients gain self-awareness of how they communicated with others in their personal and professional interactions (including virtual environments) – as well as understand how others communicate. This is when I discovered the Kendall’s Life Languages System of Communication, known as the 7 Life Languages™.
I was immediately drawn to this communication tool because it captured how people
communicate based on how they act, think, and feel no matter what mode of
communication is used (face-to-face or virtual). In each of these categories, are the 7
LIFE Languages™ - Mover, Doer, Influencer, Responder, Shaper, Producer, and
Contemplator.
After taking the 7 Life Languages™ online assessment, I learned that my primary Life
Language is a Responder, meaning, my communication preference falls in the feeling
category, then followed by Contemplator and Producer – thinking categories.
However, unlike other assessments, Life Languages is not a personality or IQ test that puts you in a box.
Rather, it is a character-based communication analysis tool that measures your communication with others and reveals your fluency with all 7 Life Languages™.
Not only will you have a picture of your preferred communication language but also the ones that you find challenging to access.
This assessment gave me immediate clarity and understanding where I fell short in my communication interactions with my husband, family (particularly my daughter), and friends. Talk about an Aha moment!
The practical insight that I learned and could apply in my day-to-day life was
transformative. My enthusiasm, confidence, and trust in the 7 Life Languages™ tool led me to become a Certified Communications Coach through Life Languages International™.
Now, I am on an ambitious mission to teach and coach individuals, couples, teams,
managers, leaders, organizations, and anyone who desires to become better
communicators, how to effectively communicate through the 7 Life Languages™ in both face-to-face and virtual / telework environments.
I invite readers of this article to join me on this mission - should you choose to do so - to become one of thousands and ultimately millions of people who have discovered how the 7 Life Languages™ has unlocked the “keys to successful communication and improved relationships.”
